One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tallas his father, so he began to borrow Mr.Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

A man came to the police station and complained, " I have three brothers, we all lived in one room. One of my brothers has six cats; another has five dogs, and the other has four goats. The smell is terrible. Can you do something about it?"

A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he hadput on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongsto a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in tenminutes."

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.